Dating a narcissist is, sadly, a fairly common occurrence for men and women, and knowing how to identify one is necessary for your sanity and self-esteem.
Before we get to the signs to watch out for, understand that no one is a fool for dating a narcissist.
In fact, these individuals often have a lot going for them: attractiveness, an outgoing personality, and well-cultivated social skills.
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If you date a narcissist, he will work hard early in the relationship to let you know that he is an amazing catch and that he is highly desired by others.
The narcissist is careful to set this dynamic up early in dating so that you know your place in the relationship: You belong in an inferior position to him, and that will not change.
The narcissist can start to relax once he senses that you understand how lucky you are to be with him. Some traits or disorders are found more among men or women, but narcissism strikes men and women equally.
A small percentage of men and women – under 5 percent – meet the criteria for full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but a much higher number of people have narcissistic traits. Narcissists love talking about themselves and their accomplishments.
Narcissists are often extremely flirtatious, and relationships with narcissists usually involve frequent arguments about fidelity, jealousy, and flirtation.
Narcissists need something called “narcissistic supply,” which is a psychological term that refers to the attention that fuels them.
Sexual attention is one of the most basic types of attention, and narcissists try to get as much sexual attention as possible.
If you find yourself dating someone who is narcissistic, the summary version involves you feeling frustrated, angry and hurt. They brag without even realizing it, and their conversations must focus far more on them than on you.
A narcissist will talk at length about his day, but does not seem so interested when you talk about yours; a narcissist loves going out when she makes the plans, but she seems bored or pouty when you set the plans; the narcissist looks for comfort from you when he’s upset, but the way he comforts you when you are upset feels too quick and shallow to truly comfort you.