One of the ongoing debates that crops up when it comes to dating advice for men is: “How important are men’s looks? Men tend to have a more uniform definition of what they consider attractive while women’s definitions tend to have more variability.” Just check the comments section of this blog; whenever I talk about what women find attractive in men, people will inevitably show up and insist that all of this is bullshit and that women are interested in tall dudes with rippling washboard abs, blindingly white teeth, pecs you could bounce rocks off of, an Audi R8 and a 7 figure bank account. Men tend to assume that women view men with the same metrics that men view women – that is, that women will put greater importance on facial symmetry, height, body fat percentages, penis size and muscle tone.Others will insist that looks don’t matter at all and that it’s strictly a matter of one’s character. In reality, being attractive to women is a combination of a host of factors, coming together to build a holistic version of desirability that’s based on more than just whether or not one has Scandinavian cheekbones and piercing blue eyes. Humans are psychologically predisposed to be more positively inclined toward people who are physically attractive; a cognitive bias known as the “halo effect” influences people’s judgements and impressions about a person based purely on their physical appearance.
The men who are most invested in the idea that women only like guys who look like X often to believe that attraction is immutable; it takes the pressure off of them to be responsible for their own successes – or lack thereof.
It allows them to put the blame on others – on women who have “unfair” standards, on the media for promoting certain looks, on their own genes.
After all, short of painful surgeries, there’s not much a man can do about the shape of his face or his height.
however, is about more than facial symmetry and height.
It’s about how a man presents himself – the way he talks, the way he dresses and his attitude…
and it’s surprisingly easy to sabotage one’s own attractiveness by accident. There’s more to grooming and self-care than the usual male ritual of “a couple of spritz under the pits and out the door you go”… You wouldn’t think that much of this would be necessary…
until you’ve spent some time at a convention; there’s a reason why nerds are associated with stench. well, you’re not going to get anywhere with her, let’s just put it that way.
A person who is blessed with good looks will frequently have a leg up in the world.
However: The definition of what women consider to be “good looking” varies wildly.