You don’t even notice that she hasn’t responded because your distracted by the new excitement of these new matches.But then, you start realizing, wait a minute, no ones responding back to you.
Two dates where I was probably settling, compromising and giving in, just to go on dates. Not at all, they were perfectly normal, fine people, just not the match for me. It’s literally a 40 minute survey asking you the same question 37 different ways.
First thing you have to do is fill out the SATs of online dating.
You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.
So you send over your questions for stage 1 of 4 and then you have to wait for them to respond. But it’s fine, you don’t really care that this person hasn’t responded in a day or two because each day you get a new batch of matches hand picked by these computer gods as people that match you on 29 levels of compatibility.
Also, thank you for taking the time to read this during work. Also if you’d like to take this opportunity to tell your female single co-workers about this blog, and ask them if they want to date me, I wouldn’t be mad. Fuck Eharmony.com, which I couldn’t believe was still available. Now the tricky thing about eharmony is, it takes two to tango.
If that’s the case, please scroll down like 2 inches (that’s what she said) and get those words off your screen. Other titles include: “Dear Eharmony, because of you I’m going to have to reproduce through mitosis” “Dear Eharmony, I just bought the domain name Fuck Eharmony.com, no seriously, I did”| “Dear Eharmony, you took my money, dignity, and self respect, and all I got was this lousy blog” It’s true, I actually did buy the domain name So the purpose, the essence, of this blog, is that my eharmony subscription is ending this month. This is my second stint on eharmony.com, this last stint I signed up for 6 months. At first it’s awesome you have matches sent to you, which you review and if you like you can proceed to step 1, which is you send them multiple choice questions.
That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.
I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!
So everyday since I’m up at midnight, I log in and get my 7 new exciting matches. That’s active, open, matches, that I’ve sent my multiple choice questions over to, and I’m patiently waiting for their response. In ADDITION to the 748 matches I am currently waiting for a response for, I have also 436 archived matches and 721 matches I’ve closed out. So you’re saying I matched on 29 levels of compatibility with almost 2000 women in San Diego?
So before you know it, you’re waiting on 5 girls to respond back, and then it’s 10, then 20, then 50! As of tonight I was in stage 1, waiting for 748 matches to respond back to me from stage 1. You’re probably thinking Steven, you should be more selective anyways, you can’t just be communicating with every person you get matched with. So all together I have been matched with 1905 and different females. Or whats more likely is you sent me every girl in San Diego in 7 girl increments.
I know right, how ridiculous is it to be “communicating” with 50 different girls all at the same time, all waiting for them to respond. What’s most upsetting about this shenanigans is that I am waiting for 748 girls to get back to me, with stage 1 questions.