Let's start with the bad news: You're on the road to divorce.But the good news is that romance, love and, yes, even marriage doesn't need to end with divorce.In fact, a survey of 2,000 newly divorced people found that nearly 50 percent of divorced men were eager to get remarried, and 20 percent of divorced women were hoping to repeat their trip down the aisle.
After all, even the most amicable divorce is still a divorce, and it's human nature to feel angry, sad and disappointed -- and sometimes, all three at the same time.
• Be aware that there is a possibility that your dating behavior during divorce could affect custody and parenting issues.
Your children haven't achieved finality and closure of the divorce, and putting a new person in their life right now isn't recommended by child psychologists.
In light of these experiences, here's my compassionate and informed advice if you're thinking about jumping back into the dating scene, and perhaps even if you hear wedding bells ringing in your near future:• If you've started your divorce process, honestly evaluate how your separation or divorce is going. Further, consider how your spouse may react when he or she finds out you're dating.
Is that going to add fuel to a highly contested divorce?
More than likely, the answer is "yes."• If you haven't started your divorce process, then it's important that you know what the road ahead looks like -- so you can prepare yourself and focus on the outcome you want.
You also need to be aware that the process can be time consuming and, at times, exhaustive and difficult.
While it may indeed be true that "all's fair in love," a little common sense doesn't hurt either.
And while I'd never want to throw cold water on a budding romance, I have some words of wisdom that I'd like to share.
I have an immense amount of experience helping individuals and couples make it through the divorce process. You want to lay the groundwork for a new, strong relationship while you're in a "good place" emotionally, psychologically and perhaps even financially, too.
And I have even helped many through the more peaceful and amicable process of divorce mediation, which can save everyone a great deal of time, stress and money. You also want to be able to devote your time and attention to your divorce, because the decisions you make during this time will affect you for years to come.